


touch

by petasos



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Aroace Karkat Vantas, Aromantic, Asexuality, Flash Fic, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Sort of? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 16:29:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 528
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20156611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petasos/pseuds/petasos
Summary: You’ve known Karkat Vantas for a very long time.





	touch

You’ve known Karkat Vantas for a very long time. Five years, to be precise. Five exact years. You were thirteen, he was six sweeps. You spent three years together, and then two somewhat separate. He attended college, you tended to your godly duties.

You tried dating him when you were teenagers, but it didn’t quite work out. You were seventeen when he came crashing into your bed and cried in your arms because he thought he was broken, maybe, because that was the only thing that made sense, because he couldn’t love right, couldn’t _do _quads.

Research finally came up with good terminology for him: aromantic and asexual in flush and pitch, but not pale, as far as he could tell. It stung a little, but you’d been broken up for about a year by then. The only person you’d ever dated hadn’t felt the same, but that was okay, wasn’t his fault, wasn’t yours.

Jade had Davepeta, Rose had Kanaya, Roxy had Calliope and Jane, Dirk had Jake who had Gcatavros, John had Terezi… and then there was you and Karkat, separate but paired together because everyone _assumed_ that because you’d dated for a short time, because you liked guys, because he was a hopeless romantic…

But you aren’t together.

He's your best friend, and you don't love him like _that_, but you _do _love him in a way you don't quite understand.

Five years, and you’ve never once resented him for being unable to return whatever semblance of feelings you used to have for him - or still do, just buried, you’re not quite sure. You’ll probably never know for sure, but it’s okay. Not your fault, not his fault.

He’s your best friend.

This is what you tell yourself when he climbs into your bed, his lips pressed to yours, apologizing incessantly for kissing you even though he won’t stop and you can’t bring yourself to tell him to. You mumble an apology of your own when your hands slide up the back of his shirt, trying just for the skin contact.

(You tell yourself he’s your best friend and this means nothing. That’s a lie, because it DOES mean something, it just doesn’t mean anything romantic, or anything sexual. It’s not about attraction.

It’s about being close.)

His teeth are sharp and graze your lips, but he’s soft enough to not draw blood. His hair feels strange beneath your hands, almost three years since you last touched it like this, last kissed these lips. Even broken up, even just friends, even completely platonic, these are the only lips you want to kiss.

Is that wrong? You don’t know.

His shirt comes off and so does yours, and he traces the scars on your chest and arms with a look on his face like he’s just seen heaven, just looked at the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen, and you kiss the look off his face because you don’t want _him _looking at you like that, like you’re something deserving of this touch.

Because you’re not.

You’ve known Karkat Vantas for a very long time, and part of you will always love him, and that's okay.


End file.
